Love, Turil

For you, my honey…

melancholy

It’s sad that Mom is drinking again. Not horribly, but more than enough to make it a crutch/addiction. Her friends encourage her too, which makes it worse.

I want to talk to her, but she’s “gone” right now. Not every night, but, again, more than enough for it to be sad. She has so little to do in life, no real purpose. She tried her journalism in high school thing, but she just really didn’t care about the topic that much. It might pick up again when school starts up (she’s sort of working with someone else who was starting something similar, locally), but again, her heart really isn’t in it. It seems more of a “I should do something” kind of obligatory action than a passion.

And she does still keep the library going, but that’s not that exciting for her, really, and not that rewarding either most of the time, because, well, it’s a tiny town and a tiny library that doesn’t have many visitors.

Anyway, it’s sad. Brings back all kinds of bad memories. I don’t really have the energy or attachment to focus on it, so it doesn’t bother me too much (when she’s “gone” I am usually busy doing my own work, so I don’t notice it much), but it is there, and it is frustrating to have no one who can help her take better care of herself around here.

Love,
Turil

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Written by turil

August 9, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Posted in all of me

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